Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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