You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Houston, we have a blender
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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