what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
this must be what syphilis tastes like
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I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
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Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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