he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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