life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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