he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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