So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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