so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize