someone get that fucking seahorse.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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