I'm gonna have a badass scar
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
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