can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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