Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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