Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I need to calm my uterus...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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