Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
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I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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