This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
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You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
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the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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