Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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