oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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