The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize