it was like eating out sand paper
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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