Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
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Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
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He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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