maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
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You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
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my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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