They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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