just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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