he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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