im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
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I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
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I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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