I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
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she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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