if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
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