I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize