I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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