After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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