Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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