if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
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The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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