she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
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You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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