these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize