she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
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bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
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What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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