well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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