***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
3pm strippers are depressing
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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