one might say we're banned from that church
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize