i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
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He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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