All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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