yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize