btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
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OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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