What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
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We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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