remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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