just come out here and I will go home with you...
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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