Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize