Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.

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(610): I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/nwna

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(509): View more from Washington

I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM

(909): View more from California

I'm scared to ask why.....

(509): View more from Washington

1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.

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(509): I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM (909): I'm scared to ask why..... (509): 1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare. http://tfl.nu/ztpp

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(408): View more from California

I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.

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(408): I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class. http://tfl.nu/di0h

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(618): View more from Illinois

When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.

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(618): When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/ntsr

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(214): View more from Texas

okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you

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(214): okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you http://tfl.nu/uhqk

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...

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(814): Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major... http://tfl.nu/yhqh

Replies (9) Good night (2601) Bad night (1040)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.

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(423): I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/5s6y

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(347): View more from New York

asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.

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(347): asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people. http://tfl.nu/r17b

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(520): View more from Arizona

Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.

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(520): Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded. http://tfl.nu/om7e

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(417): View more from Missouri

I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.

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(417): I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor. http://tfl.nu/qpor

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(301): View more from Maryland

But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you

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(301): But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you http://tfl.nu/si0a

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.

(250): View more from British Columbia

Not my cup of tea

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(250): I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years. (250): Not my cup of tea http://tfl.nu/83fl

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(513): View more from Ohio

seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been

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(513): seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been http://tfl.nu/nato

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(843): View more from South Carolina

No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction

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(843): No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction http://tfl.nu/q1mm

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(518): View more from New York

No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?

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(518): No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark? http://tfl.nu/5sw5

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