Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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