the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
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you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
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How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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