So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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